who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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