I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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