Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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