so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
Randomize
