im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
well my last 2 orgasms were over shoe sales at macy's. what does that tell you?
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Being engaged is strange. I looked at my cock this morning and said, "we did alright these last 32 years, right?"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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