thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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