why didn't you poke me back
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
Watching her eat just hurts me
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
