brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
did you get engaged???
I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize