Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Just cropdusted the office
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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