Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
