You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
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