you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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