Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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