U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
She Kept going around and squirting jello shots into guys mouths. That was her ice breaker.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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