How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
we've had our differences but let's set them aside, go home and fuck
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
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