We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
When you turn your data bak on you're gonna get a pic of a nipple but it's not mine
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Randomize
