i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
What part of drinking with my mom makes you think i'd get naked
All of it
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You threw up on his face 22 hours ago and now he's here holding your hand. I think he likes you.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize
