Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I'm looking at some sugar baby profiles to get some insight on what we're up against.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Do not tell guys at bars about kittens you rescue. They will walk away.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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