so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
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