i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Randomize
