did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize
