Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
I mean I'm basically single. Or maybe just an asshole. Either way.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Welp, I'm allergic to codeine. Found that one out the hard way.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
