My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
