So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Randomize
