How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
she peed on how many people?
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Randomize
