you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
This whole Rob and Chyna drama is giving me trust issues. I'm about to text my ex and be like if you haven't already deleted my nudes, can you?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
True college students do jello shots in the library
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