Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Mom is talking about dicks with her friends in the living room. I am 5 seconds away from scaling the bathroom window out of here.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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