Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No don't worry! What are obnoxious, alcoholic, slut roommates for if not for uplifting words and tales of my folly?!
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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