One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
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