so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
