Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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