STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
