did you get engaged???
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
