Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
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