I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Randomize
