awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I have post one night stand depression
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