I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
Randomize
