This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
