i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize