that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The reason halloween exists is because it's not cheating if you're wearing a costume.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
