no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
You pole danced in your parka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
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