I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
No one likes a giant penis on their phone screen. I mean cmon. I'm a lady.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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