Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
