everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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