Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
We named our party play list daddy issues
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
The UPD just told me that he was going to call the cops if i try to run. you owe me 5 dollars, i told u they arn't real cops
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
