You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
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