I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
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