thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
