No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
You're like the curious george of whores
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
