Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He said he wanted to "superfuck" me
Does he wear a cape??
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
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