He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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