i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
