She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
You ate ashes out of my bong
Randomize