Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
