Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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