I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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