your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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