It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
