You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
Randomize
