I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
