Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
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