She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
Randomize
