Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
If your wondering where your blanket is, I put it on the 2 guys you brought home last night. Their still sleeping outside on the trampoline.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
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