SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk of Shame'd halfway down a mountain, skiiers passing. Do not drink with lifties at the end of ski season.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Can someone please remind me later tonight that there's a taco in my purse. I may get drunk and forget I put it there
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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